In Kenya, the stories of brief marriages ending in divorce and separation among social media influencers have become increasingly common. These couples often share their amicable splits, accompanied by pleas for privacy.
Public attitudes toward divorce are mixed; while some view it as a valid solution to dissatisfaction, others criticize the impulsiveness and approach of young people who rush into marriage, have children, and then part ways. One such example is Peter Njuguna, a 25-year-old father of two.
At his young age, he has lived with two different women under the assumption of being married. However, after just eleven months, the couples faced the stark truth of their incompatibilities, ultimately leading to their separation.
He described his first marriage as unsuccessful. His partner moved out, leaving their child in his care. As their daughter reached her first birthday, the situation between them deteriorated further. “We could never find common ground, and living with her became unbearable. She moved in with me when she discovered she was pregnant, but after giving birth, she abandoned the baby, stating that when we met, she didn’t have a child and wouldn’t be bringing one along,” he shared.
Shortly after his first partner’s departure, his current partner, just 23 at the time, moved in with him. She suddenly found herself juggling the responsibilities of being both a wife and a mother, despite the lack of marriage and experience in this new role. Njuguna reflects on how their disagreements escalated into emotional abuse, with both of them hurling insults and demeaning one another—something he deeply regrets. Eventually, they split, with her leaving while pregnant.
“In the beginning, our conflicts were minimal, but everything changed once she became pregnant, and ultimately, she decided to leave,” he recalled. Njuguna represents a growing number of couples experiencing what is known as “green divorce” or separation—terms that refer to splits occurring within the first five years of marriage or cohabitation with plans to marry.
Sociologist Gladys Mburu sheds light on this trend among younger generations, linking many separations to clashes in lifestyles and differing values. She notes that a considerable number of individuals lack the vital skills needed to create and sustain stable families. “Often, people rush into marriage without truly understanding their partners. They tend to make hasty decisions without properly considering the potential consequences,” she remarks.
She emphasizes that for many young adults, particularly those in their early twenties, achieving personal independence while also beginning a family can be quite daunting. “Some couples perceive divorce or separation as the only feasible option during difficult times,” she states. Additionally, the impact of social media has played a role in normalizing quick breakups, portraying them not as failures but rather as common trends.
This change in perspective can result in rushed decisions. The sociologist urges young individuals to enter into marriage with a stronger sense of commitment. She advocates for comprehensive preparation, which includes developing parenting skills and participating in pre-marital counseling sessions. “It’s crucial for couples to establish agreement on fundamental values and living situations to reduce potential conflicts,” she notes. While recognizing that each person’s situation is distinct, Mburu suggests that the most suitable ages for marriage are between 25 and 29 for women and 28 to 33 for men, as individuals in this age range tend to be more mature and financially secure.
